A Letter to My Father

[bronze_ribbons]

Dear Daddy,

Today you would have been sixty-five. This morning
I drove to church - sang Tallis's "Lamentations"
and thought about lighting a candle in your name
but I didn't want to talk about you, don't want to be consoled
for this awkward sorrow that cannot be smoothed
into a tender summary. Were you still alive,
you'd still be giving me hell
for never keeping my mouth shut.

Ten days ago, your older sister
treated me to lunch: steamed fish, savory eggplant.
A special order -- as we cleaned our plates,
her friend the owner said in Taiwanese
"she's pretty" -- about me. It hurts
how much such throwaway gifts matter,
and how you would still be underimpressed
with my minor poems, my shortage of status --
it can't be helped anymore than the fact
all your wanting to stay alive couldn't save you.
You would have liked the eggplant and the fish --
especially the eyes. My aunt reminded me of that.
And what the owner said? You would have observed
it's sort of thing men have to say about nieces.
But you would have been pleased that I still remember
enough of your language to thank him for it.

- pld, 9 April 2006

Comments

[xanthophyllippa.livejournal.com]

*warm embrace*

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetheart.

[qrssama.livejournal.com]

**DOUBLE HUG**

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Same back atcha. (Wrote you a letter today, btw. Now to dig an envelope out of the desk...)

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

This is just beautiful.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

It is what it is, y'know? (Plus, it's been almost 7 years, and it just wasn't a surprise by the time it happened (family history: all of my uncles died from cancer).

Then again, it wasn't a surprise by the time my cat's body gave out (a year ago this week), and I'm still not entirely re-hinged where that's concerned. Even though I'm blessed with the company of the sweetest chow-shep in town. :-/

Beautiful

[(Anonymous)]

Fathers aren't any easier in any language. xoxoxo

Re: Beautiful

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Hugs and kisses to you, too.

[ludimagist.livejournal.com]

Hugs to you.

This sort of thing has been on my mind a lot too.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Meron. Good luck with the holidays.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I know not wanting to be consoled and smoothed. Yes.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

And the knowing is one of the many reasons you are a marvelous M'ris.

[slightlymadmom.livejournal.com]

**HUGS**

Thinking of you

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *hugs back* (And, on a happier note, chag pesach sameach v'kasher! *lifts glass in your direction*)

[musigneus.livejournal.com]

For the poem: it is lovely, and painful (in the best way) at the same time.

For you: hugs.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Thank you, for both.