![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bronze_ribbonsTitle: By a Nose!
Challenge: "it’s gotta happen sometime" (for![[insanejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/ij-userinfo.gif)
30_hath)
Character/Pairing: Lupin/Voldemort, Snape/Lupin
Genre/Warnings (as applicable): Deliberate badfic, people.
Rating: PG
Words: 300
Note: Um, this is kind of for_lore and elenalink. There being a discussion about the rather public private life of the actor playing Lord V. that woke up a crackbunny... *sheepish*
It was perhaps inevitable that Remus Lupin snapped when he did: after years of being too-familiarly addressed as "Remy" by adoring witches and subsisting on their well-intentioned gifts of chocolate, it was not so very shocking to experienced observers how swiftly he embraced the Dark Lord's promises of unlimited raw meat and thoroughly filtered alcohol.
Still, there were complications. It turned out that Voldemort required even soppier declarations than Tonks when it came to relationship maintenance, so Remus's expectations of saccharine-free sexcapades in the sack were all for naught. Moreover, Severus Snape refused to approve of this turn of events at all. His secret, self-sacrificial loyalty to Dumbledore aside, he had long cherished the dream of someday becoming the one man capable of driving the unflappable Remus Lupin over the brink, and he thus felt exceedingly miffed that a gaggle of girls addicted to bodice-rippers had so easily achieved what he merely hadn'tworked up the nerve to accomplish gotten around to yet.
Thus, when Snape Apparated into the Lupin-Riddle love-cave, radiating both righteous indignation and bruised ego, he exuded so much menace that You-Know-Who instantly dived under the covers with a most unLordlike yelp. Lupin exclaimed, "My darling Mortie, worry not! My super-keen werewolf senses will be enough for both of--" just before Snape stunned him with a water balloon containing his special formulation of Draught of Shocking Thick-Skulled Werewolves Into Their Right Minds.
"Merlin's tonsils, Severus!" Lupin exclaimed, when he had recovered. "That tasted even nastier than the Wolfsbane!"
"No less than you deserve!" Snape snarled, thoroughly sushifying the satin-sheet covered lump of Voldemort with a succession of wordless Diffendos. "And," he proclaimed, "I have enough nose for the three of us!"
"And the length of your nose corresponds--?"
"What do you think, furbrain?"
"Prove it."
Challenge: "it’s gotta happen sometime" (for
30_hath)Character/Pairing: Lupin/Voldemort, Snape/Lupin
Genre/Warnings (as applicable): Deliberate badfic, people.
Rating: PG
Words: 300
Note: Um, this is kind of for
_lore and elenalink. There being a discussion about the rather public private life of the actor playing Lord V. that woke up a crackbunny... *sheepish*It was perhaps inevitable that Remus Lupin snapped when he did: after years of being too-familiarly addressed as "Remy" by adoring witches and subsisting on their well-intentioned gifts of chocolate, it was not so very shocking to experienced observers how swiftly he embraced the Dark Lord's promises of unlimited raw meat and thoroughly filtered alcohol.
Still, there were complications. It turned out that Voldemort required even soppier declarations than Tonks when it came to relationship maintenance, so Remus's expectations of saccharine-free sexcapades in the sack were all for naught. Moreover, Severus Snape refused to approve of this turn of events at all. His secret, self-sacrificial loyalty to Dumbledore aside, he had long cherished the dream of someday becoming the one man capable of driving the unflappable Remus Lupin over the brink, and he thus felt exceedingly miffed that a gaggle of girls addicted to bodice-rippers had so easily achieved what he merely hadn't
Thus, when Snape Apparated into the Lupin-Riddle love-cave, radiating both righteous indignation and bruised ego, he exuded so much menace that You-Know-Who instantly dived under the covers with a most unLordlike yelp. Lupin exclaimed, "My darling Mortie, worry not! My super-keen werewolf senses will be enough for both of--" just before Snape stunned him with a water balloon containing his special formulation of Draught of Shocking Thick-Skulled Werewolves Into Their Right Minds.
"Merlin's tonsils, Severus!" Lupin exclaimed, when he had recovered. "That tasted even nastier than the Wolfsbane!"
"No less than you deserve!" Snape snarled, thoroughly sushifying the satin-sheet covered lump of Voldemort with a succession of wordless Diffendos. "And," he proclaimed, "I have enough nose for the three of us!"
"And the length of your nose corresponds--?"
"What do you think, furbrain?"
"Prove it."