Birdwits, beetfields, and hot sauerkraut wrestlers

[bronze_ribbons]

Y'all. Y'ALL. My habit of encouraging vegetable-adjacent crackfic continues to bear fruit! [g, d, r]

Candy (DBA beautifulduckweed) wrote this treat for me! It is brilliantly silly, and I cannot stop grinning.

Of All the Worlds of Mice and Men (9576 words) by beautifulduckweed
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Band Sinister - K. J. Charles, The Tsar's indecent hot sauerkraut wrestling ring - Ursula Vernon
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Lord Corvin/Guy Frisby/John Raven/Philip Rookwood, Lord Corvin/Guy Frisby/John Raven/Philip Rookwood & Ivan (Hot Sauerkraut Wrestling)
Characters: Ivan (Hot Sauerkraut Wrestling), Guy Frisby, Philip Rookwood, John Raven, Lord Corvin, Sorcerer of Never (Hot Sauerkraut Wrestling), Wolf (Hot Sauerkraut Wrestling), Firebird (Hot Sauerkraut Wrestling)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Magic, Crack Crossover, Possibly the stupidest thing I've written which is a pretty high bar to clear, If you wanted to see the Birdwits & Guy turned into fieldmice boy do I have the fic 4 u, The talking animals still sound like grizzled NYC cops from 80s procedurals for no reason
Summary:

Ivan, the most accomplished hot sauerkraut wrestler the world had ever known, returns to the strange land of Never to foil the evil plans of the Sorcerer who resides there—only to have his own plans foiled by the unexpected appearance of four strange men.

A flash of light accompanied by a loud boom shattered the tranquility of the night. Ivan covered his head and fell to his knees, then looked in the direction of the sound.

Not five feet away from him stood four men, all shouting at each other.

“Corvin, why the devil did you step through when I bloody well told you not to—”

“Look, how do you expect us to learn more about that strange hole in the air without—”

“Where the devil are we? Corvin, you cursed maggotbrain—”

“Oh good lord, is that a wolf?”

NOTE: Possible to read fandom-blind for Hot Sauerkraut; see prefatory notes.


[Past history, you may ask? Sadly, the archive with pixychelle's 2006 eggplant!Snape / carrot!Lupin smut is no longer extant, from what I can tell, but there have been some fine fun times indeed...]