"is it kind? is it true? is it useful?"

[bronze_ribbons]

There's a fascinating article by Amy Bloom in this month's O(prah) magazine on honesty -- that is, navigating the shoals between telling the truth and not hurting people's feelings -- or, as Bloom puts it, how to "be who I am and to have a life" while juggling her inclination towards bluntness with (in her mother's view) "the necessary moral speed bumps that [make] it possible to navigate social life" (e.g., social white lies -- "I was raised by a woman who routinely said 'Oh, I'd love to' when she didn't, and 'Oh, I can't possibly' when she could"):

Sometimes this leaves me stammering. And it has made me a great admirer of Judy Garland not only for her spectacular talent but also because after she saw a friend in a terrible play, she is supposed to have come into her friend's dressing room smiling, and said -- without resorting to even the whitest lie -- "How do you do it, my dear, night after night?"

Comments

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

My fave white lie is "Oh, what a dear baby!" All babies, after all, are dear, even when they're not beautiful.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

Heh. Reminds me of the Talmudic decree that, by definition, every bride is beautiful on her wedding day.

[mechaieh.livejournal.com]

P.S. i keep meaning to ask -- who is the actress/character depicted in your icon? I totally dig both her face and the look she's wearing on it.

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

That's Andrea Parker, and it's a screencap from The Pretender. Truly, not a good show, but she played a fabulous, complex, messed up, powerful character who I can't get out of the fannish part of my head.

The actress is now on a terrible sitcom. I just can't watch it.

TNT reruns Pretender early in the mornings, but honestly, it's hard to pimp the show even though I love it. I got sucked in by the characters, but the show hasn't aged well, and it ended badly.